January 3rd...1st Ultrasound

First of all for those following my blog, I apologize for no posts in a very long time...I have come to the conclusion I stink at blogging, something I hope to get better at over the next few weeks. I am updating and will continue to do so until I am up to date :)



They day had come, our first ultrasound...
I was extremely nervous! Not sure I will ever forget that day! We went to the hospital and anxiously waited! Cliff and I had discussed how many babies we thought were in there...he said 2, I had no idea!
We finally got called back and prepped for the ultrasound...the Doctor came in and got started...
We saw 2 sacks, yes 2 embryos!!!!! 
TWINS...our two miracle embryos implanted! 

I was excited yet still very nervous until I heard Doctor Vroon say the 1st baby's heartbeat looks good and the 2nd baby's does as well....yes tears came down my face! It's really happening! I'm pregnant, we are going to be parents! Emotions flowed, all that we have been through and now success and not just 1 baby, 2!! We were/are so thankful! Prayers of thanksgiving were constantly going up to our Lord!
Now to get through the next few weeks! 
Doctor Vroon gave us a picture of the ultrasound and let me get dressed, he came back in to talk to us...He stated I would be considered a high risk pregnancy because it is twins and because we did IVF.  
We didn't care! Basically that just meant more vitamins and more doctor visits (every 4 weeks with an ultrasound)! He said for the most part to act normal and continue doing normal day to day activities! I still did not pick up anything over about 5-10 pounds, I still did not go exercise...I took it easy, we wanted the babies to stick and stay healthy! Plus I was afraid to do anything that later I could blame myself for if something went wrong. 

Vitamins I started taking:
Extra folic acid- one pill a day
Iron - 2 pills a day
Calcium - 2 pills a day
DHA -2 pills a day
Continued Prenatal - 1 pill a day

All the vitamins were a challenge...the calcium and iron are suppose to be taken about 3 hours apart! 
I started taking a pill every time I ate. Around 9 weeks I started getting nauseous so every time I started to get an empty stomach I would need to eat which would also remind me to take a pill so taking the pills became easier and easier. 

We had another appointment on January 14th...another nervous day for me! It was my birthday and I was hoping for the best but fearing the worst! I said this could be an amazing or horrible day! Turns out it was wonderful! Both babies were still holding on strong and looking great!!!

January 15th we had another appointment! This appointment was just an office visit to get my weight, give us information on pregnancy (how to eat, how much weight to gain...). Of course that visit went fine also! 

Treatment costs

Our Payments throughout our treatment (all of the payments are in Euro):

08/8/2012 - Day 5 Follicle Count Ultrasound...50.00

20/10/2012 - 1st payment to Clinic, Paperwork for treatment...230.00

22/10/2012 - Vitamins: Inofolic Plus...27.50
                                    Inofolic....13.50
                                    Genadis...41.50

23/10/2012 - Eco-cardiograph....150.00 

08/11/2012 - Vitamins: Inofolic Plus...27.50
                                    Genadis....41.50

18/11/2012 - Anesthesiologist....120.00
                      Ultrasound/blood work/Biologist....470.00      
27/11/2012 - Ovitrelle....27.00

29/11/2012 - Pick up (aka Egg Retrieval)....2,700.00

04/12/2012 - Transfer...1,370.00
                      Blastocyte....170.00                                                                                        
                    
10/12/2012 - 4 vaginal washes (that I ended up not needing)....52.00
                                                                                                         

Grand Total....5,490.50 Euro

We were very lucky to have the 38 vials of meropur given to us by the clinic, this medicine like I mentioned before is very expensive, about 200 Euro per box which has 12 vials in each box which could have been a two days worth supply. 

Alessandra was able to get us the Enantone to take on 18/11/2012 and the Ciproxin to take before and after pick up, she also gave us some syringes. Her being able to get us these medications saved us some money and we were very thankful. 

The Clinic also gave us some vitamins (for both Cliff and myselt) and some vaginal washes, which was also a huge help to us! 

                      

The wait

After the transfer we had to wait....

I stayed in bed literally except getting up to go to the bathroom for 72 hours! It was a little challenging but definitely worth it! Cliff provided me plenty of movies and shows to watch, I had the computer at times to surf the net and facebook some but I wouldn't have made it without Cliff or my sweet, cuddly pups!!! Cliff was able to take some time off to wait on me. He was awesome! I would tell him I was hungry as soon as I would get a little hungry, thinking he would take a little while to bring me food, no he would get whatever I asked for immediately! The pups, pretty much stayed in bed with me most of the 72 hours! I love that they are so loving and comforting all the time!
I had mentioned before I didn't think I would stop praying while I was waiting and honestly I found myself praying a lot!!! I still am! I sometimes feel like God may be getting a little tired of hearing me ;)

December 13th we got to go in for our first blood test. I sent Cliff a message saying I don't think I have ever been so nervous in my entire life! I went to the lab for my blood work then I walked down to the Women's Clinic to tell them not to call me with the results, that Cliff and I wanted to come in to get the results to view them together. I called Cliff once I was done and told him I was done...he had some errands to run so I went with him to make time go by faster and keep my nerves a little calm...it definitely helped, we went to look at Cliff's motorcycle being built and it took us the perfect amount of time! When we got back it was time for my results. We drove over to the hospital, went into the Women's Clinic to get the results, the girls at the window had printed the results and sealed them for us, the girl that handed me the results was on the phone but smiled and said good luck...I was so nervous! We went to the car and opened the results, did I mention I was nervous? I was so nervous I was shaking! My HCG was 175....Cliff and I are saying is this good? We aren't for sure what it should be...I knew if it was over 5 then that meant I was pregnant but at this stage I wasn't sure if it needed to be something specific! I ran back inside to ask and they said, it's good we just have to make sure the numbers go up on your next test. The girl that handed me the results said I was hoping I didn't give it away by smiling and I said, I don't think I even paid attention to that, I was so nervous you could have been grinning ear to ear and I wouldn't have noticed even though I wish I would have maybe it would have calmed me a little. I went back out to the car telling Cliff it is good, I'm pregnant....then I start crying with such a relief! I was so nervous and had no idea what to expect. In the past I had listened to my body so much and thought I was pregnant then it would turn out I wasn't, so this time even though we had help, I was trying not to listen to my body signs so much! I was trying my hardest to just wait for the test! I was getting signs, I had some cramping, some pink discharge meaning a sign of implantation and I had that dreaded metallic taste in my mouth (I had this the last time I was pregnant) I wanted to believe I was pregnant but I was so afraid to listen to these signs and believe them until I had proof....well I had proof and it was overwhelming!!! But such a relief!!! I'M PREGNANT!!!!!! We have been waiting on this for such a long time :) it feels so good! It wasn't until later on in the day that I was telling my friend and she was looking at the results and said well it says here Interpretations: Pregnant Female! I was hysterically laughing, I was so nervous that I never even saw that! I tell Cliff and he says he saw it but still wasn't sure how good the numbers were suppose to be...turns out they were good ;)

December 12th my HCG level was 175 :)
December 17th -  697 :)
December 21st -  2,175 :) :)

You can pretty much say that we had the best Christmas ever...we didn't give each other any gifts...we didn't send any gifts to our family...we were just thankful for everything we have been given, thankful for a successful IVF treatment, thankful for family and friends and thankful for each other! We have been blessed with the most beautiful thing we could ever receive...life! We are beyond thankful that God has blessed us with the miracle of life! Our gift this year is pregnancy!

We have our first ultrasound on January 3rd to look for embryo sacks and hopefully see a heartbeat(s) since I will be exactly 7 weeks! How many babies are in my womb? Could be one, two, three, or four....
We are very excited for the 3rd!
Thank you all for your prayers and support!
I have been thanking God so much the past few weeks! I feel like almost all of my prayers have been to only give thanks, which feels so wonderful! I am beyond thankful for all of the prayers from our family and friends I feel like it is finally our time to have children and we wouldn't have made it to this point in our journey without all of your love and support!

Some of our closest friends and even some family members do not know about this journey we have been on, they will hopefully soon find out through this blog and when we announce our pregnancy! I want to say to all of you...it is not that we didn't want you to know, we did, there were many times we wanted to tell you everything that was going on! We chose not to tell everyone because of our previous experience with our 1st pregnancy not ending the way we hoped, that was and still is painful! Also because this journey has been such a roller coaster, we wanted to keep it private. not only because conceiving is usually a private experience, even though we didn't conceive on our own naturally and we had some help, it is still a private journey, plus we still wanted to have the excitement of announcing we are expecting! With that being said please don't think we didn't want to include you on our journey, in fact sometimes we wish we kept it from everyone, but we wouldn't change our choices because we ended up having a great support network and when we had doubts they kept us encouraged! As I am emotional and sit here crying while writing this, a very very special thank you goes out to our parents, our grandparents and my sister! Thank you all so much for your encouraging words, your prayers, and your support, I promise you, you will never understand how special each one of you has been to us throughout this journey! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, we are very blessed to have such amazing families!
To all of our military friends/family, thank you for keeping our secrets and supporting us always! I don't have to say anything else because you know as much as we do how special these bonds are!

Transfer

So on Sunday night Dec, 2nd we received a call that transfer would be on Tuesday, Dec. 4th!

I have been taking it easy, taking my progesterone gels each night, my folic acid and my prenatal vitamins.  The 4th was the day!!! So many emotions and I did end up being nervous, especially when I realized there was no anesthesia! I was laughing at myself in my head thinking this can't be bad then....it wasn't, it was just like a pap smear...easy peasy right!

The transfer:
I got in a gown and waited my turn to be called back to the room, I walked back when it was my turn and hopped up on the exam table, put my legs in the holders and got ready! The doc came in we exchanged smiles and said ciao :) the same sweet nurses were there and the one was wearing another pair of dangly earrings again! The procedure was really fast they prepped me and said ok, then a woman (the embryologist, walked around the corner with a long tube looking thing...that's it, my babies are in there! The nurse had an ultrasound going pressing on my full bladder and watching the embryologist insert the embryos into my uterus :) they said wait a minute and they took a picture, handed it through the window to the embryologist and she said ok...that was it, I was done! I rolled onto a different bed and they wheeled me back to recovery! I laid their as long as I could, they said 30 minutes but I waited for them to come tell me which ended up being 40 minutes, I got up went to release my bladder and then I tried to lay back down, they laughed at me and told me to get dressed, we were done, Paula would come talk to me....I went out to Cliff, said ok we have to wait for Paula! Paula comes out, she gives me a kiss says ok go home, relax and take your progesterone, folic acid and prenatals then wait for your blood test, call us with the results!
I reclined my seat on the way home and it was snowing...a sign? Maybe! The temperature had dropped a lot from the time we had arrived at the clinic! We got home and I went to bed where I stayed for the next 72 hours!

Pick up aka egg retrieval

Sorry I haven't posted in few days, I have been taking it easy and being lazy!
On the 27th we didn't have to do anything except take our vitamins.
So in the early hours of Wednesday, November 28th we woke up to take the Ovitrelle. Funny thing, I woke up at 0354 looked at the clock that we have yet to change since the time changed and kind of panicked! I threw the covers back and thought OH NO we missed the time, it's almost 5 as the clock read 0454 then I quickly calmed down and thought no that clock is an hour early...so then I laid there wide awake waiting for my alarm to go off to wake Cliff and us head down for the injection. Those 10 mins took forever! Finally it was 0400 and the alarms started going off! At 0410 we went downstairs to prep the shot which was to get it out of the fridge. I swabbed my stomach and we waited for 0415 to hit and then Cliff gave me the shot! We said wow we have gotten good at this and now we are done with injections :) 

When I woke up the next morning I didn't have to do anything besides take my inofolic and have a normal day. That evening I had to take one 500mg of Cipoxin (antibiotic) and then Thursday was the day.

Thursday, November 29th I woke up took another Ciproxin and my vitamin (inofolic) I made myself a bacon (petit jean bacon, yes we have some :) we smuggled it back in our suit case), egg and cheese sandwich, a cup of apple juice and a cup of coffee. I couldn't eat past 0900 so I had to get some good food in me to last til after the pick up when I could eat again! This definitely hit the spot! It was so good! We left our house about 1430 and arrived at the hospital around 1500 we were a little early but we were both anxious and since it was a different place we wanted to have plenty of time to get there. 

We went inside and checked in, they directed us to some seats to wait. Then a nurse came out and took us upstairs where she gave us some paperwork to fill out while we waited again. We are trying to fill the paperwork out, it's all in Italian so Cliff pulls his phone out and uses an app that you hold the phone over the words and it translates it cool right, so as I am filling out the paperwork they come get Cliff....I have no idea where he is going or when he will be back so I just sit waiting! Then shortly after he was taken back maybe 5-10 mins someone comes to get me. I am taken to a room with 4 beds, I am given some paper covers to wear. I was allowed to keep my shirt on which was nice but I had to put the paper smock over it, a hair net on and some little booties that went up almost to my knees and were hilarious looking! I crawled in the bed and waited....and waited and waited for at least 30-40 mins which seemed pretty long and boring! They wheeled in a girl and she switched beds and laid there like she was asleep, I assumed she just got back from the procedure room. Then they came and got me, I walked back and they made me hand some of my paperwork to some of the doctors, I felt like a little kid handing in my permission slip. Then I walk into the procedure room...I was a little scared as the bed looked different from American beds and I had seen one in a pamphlet and thought it looked a little scary but to my findings it is actually more comfortable than American ones, instead of foot stirrups  you put your legs in these stirrups that hold your knees so you rest your lower thigh, knees and lower legs on the holders and your feet kind of dangle. There is the anesthesiologist and 2 nurses in there prepping and telling me to get on the bed (yes they spoke some English) I hopped up on the bed and saddled up. She starts covering my legs with cloth bag type things...my entire body ended up being covered with cloth tarps and bags and covers except my left arm and my boobs up basically! So to say the least I felt covered and warm :) The anesthesiologist inserts the iv and had the warmest hands, he was very kind and comforting! Shortly after the doctor walks in and says boun giorno and the anesthesiologist says there is the Doctor, The Man! We chuckle and then the anesthesiologist says ok I am going to start and about 30 seconds after that he says ok you will start to feel it, I say ok yes I do and he says bye-bye! I laughed and that's all I remember until waking up and telling the girl next to me I think they got 10!!!! After about 30 mins of laying in the recovery room half out of it I tell the girl next to me, I think I was only dreaming I don't think they told me anything. She says yea I think you did dream that! 

So I wait in the recovery room for about an hour and a half....boring, I should have brought my phone in to at least play a game! They check my blood pressure, it's perfect! They bring in some delicious warm lemon tea and then finally Cliff comes in and we chat for a min then he went outside because it was so incredibly hot in there. Probably about 30 mins later I was released from that room to wait for an appointment with the doctor. I go outside to get Cliff, we go back inside the sauna and wait for about 30 mins.

We are finally called into the doctors office. They perform an ultrasound on me to check and make sure everything looks ok, everything was perfect. The biologist comes in and tells Cliff his semen sample was above normal in all areas that they check. Awesome! Then they tell us they were able to collect 10 follicles! Amazing! They say 9 look viable! We were so pleased and I was pretty giddy! They said to take an antibiotic when I got home and continue every 20 hours until all of the antibiotic was gone. Also I needed to start the vaginal progesterone gels (Crinone is the medical name and they gave us a box of 15) each night until transfer and now to take 400mcg of folic acid daily! And of course to take it easy!

They called us on Friday to tell us results of the follicles. They fertilized 6 and said they were all very active and viable. They were very pleased with the results they got from us! As are we! They said that in the next few days 30% usually survive but they would call back on Sunday and let us know how everything is looking and when we should expect the transfer (Monday or Tuesday)! 

So we wait and I take it easy!

I wasn't really sore when we left the hospital but by the time we got home I was getting sore and I thought I was ok when I woke up on Friday but I was wrong, as I moved around a little I noticed I was very sore! I definitely laid around. Today (Saturday) we got out of the house and went to the store for a few things...it was nice to get out but I was slow moving! I am assuming I will be sore after the transfer too but that will keep me still and quiet for a few days! 

I still can't believe we are here! It's all finally happening! Cliff and I were so excited they were able to retrieve so many follicles and that we have 6 fertilized that look active and viable! Praise the Lord! God is so great and has definitely been with us on this journey! We aren't finished yet and we still have a long way to go to actually have a baby or two or three ;) but we can't believe we are almost to the point to find out if pregnancy is accomplished or not! One step at a time....next step transfer then you can bet your boots this girl will keep her feet up and do nothing to risk the embryos not sticking! Not sure I will stop praying! 

I told Cliff last night that as of now we have 6 kids...we both laughed and thought wow! What if they all survive the next few days, what will we do, how many will we implant...God will lead us to the right thing!
Excited!!!! And now that I have done half of the procedures I am not one bit nervous for the procedure part of the transfer! Thank you Lord for getting us this far! Please be with us over the next few days and weeks and bless us with pregnancy! Thank you all for your prayers! 

Exciting times

Tonight I was waiting for the call on how much meds to take tonight, when I received the call we got good news...

Tonight 11/ 26 I take 2 vials of meropur 

Tomorrow I won't take any medicine but I will go pick up the ovitrelle injection (this one is pre-made and has to stay in the refrigerator) I have to take 2/3rds of the ovitrelle at 0415 Wednesday morning. This is very important, it has to be 36 hours before the pick up!  
Wednesday evening I will take one antibiotic pill and another one Thursday morning. 

Thursday is PICK UP day!!!! We will go to a different clinic than we have been going to (no big deal) we have to be there at 1500. I can't eat 6 hours prior to pick up and 2 hours before I can't drink. I am not suppose to wear make up or jewelry, I have to bring my own pajamas and slippers for comfort after the procedure and I will have to wait there for a short time. 

We are so excited and a little nervous to see how many eggs (follicles) we will get! We feel like things are going good because we didn't expect pick up to be until around the 30th...so we feel like maybe I have a good amount, we pray I have produced a good amount of follicles and healthy ones! 

I just spoke to my Mom and sister, both are excited! Mom kept telling me this will work and that I have to have the right "I am" meaning I have to say yes, I am going to be pregnant soon! She was telling me how she heard that in a sermon a while back and it really stuck to her..."you have to have the right I am", very appropriate right now! I agree, I need the right attitude and I definitely have faith but I feel like I don't want to set myself up for disappointment! Thank you Lord for all of the positive people surrounding me and keeping me thinking positive! This will all be good! The outcome will be good...the doctors seem very positive and knowledgeable, I have faith that they will work all their magic and make this successful! Now we wait to see how many follicles we get on Thursday! I guess here comes the real nail biting time...keep praying for calmness to surround us!


Other good news...We're going to have another nephew!!! That's right my sister is having another boy! Clayton will be a big brother to a sweet little boy! God is good!

The last few days

Sorry for no posts the last few days, it has been crazy with Thanksgiving and I have been tired once I have the chance to sit down....

So on the 21st we took 5 vials of Meropur.

The 21st was a little sad for me. I feel like the meds have made me a little emotional! I almost cried a few times and then would stop myself and laugh! Once I was about to cry thinking how great Cliff has been and how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband! He has been so supportive and praise the Lord for him because otherwise I don't know who would be giving me my injection each night :) no way could I do it myself! He really has been so supportive and we definitely have been through this journey together, open and honest! I tell him when I am feeling sad and he says no crying which sometimes still makes me cry but I end up smiling! I was also a little sad thinking about the date...if you remember the 21st was an important date, my due date for 2010. I was happy to not be too sad that day, I think I am so side tracked with my treatment and looking for a positive outcome I didn't think too much (I had actually prayed for this), which was a plus but it was still there...maybe after 2 years it is getting easier! It still hurts but I am hoping next year to have a sweet bundle of joy in my arms to enjoy. The strange thing is it automatically comes, even if I'm not aware of the date approaching I just feel this aching feeling and sadness come over me! That is when I have to tell Cliff and that is usually when I figure out that I am hurting over our loss. Ok so it wasn't too bad this year, I mainly only got teary eyed, thankful for this treatment distracting me. 

The 22nd we took 5 vials. This night Cliff had to stick me 3 times...ouch! The first time all the medicine wouldn't fit in the syringe, the second poke there was a bubble and he had to get that out, then it seemed the needle was dulling so it took two tries to stick me again but we got it!  

The 23rd we had an ultrasound at 0700 and blood work, it all took about 30 mins but getting up at 0545 to get ready and make it to the clinic on time isn't the most fun! They called that evening with the amount of medicine to take the next 3 days. 23rd and 24th, 5 vials and on the 25th only 4 vials. 

Last night we had 4 vials...we ran out of syringes but I went and bought some from one of the Italian grocery stores (I find it so strange that you can buy syringes in the grocery store but whatever it was convenient for me) so we used a 5ml syringe (that was all the grocery store had) which has a bigger needle, it's like the syringes we had been using to mix the meds and then change out the needle to the smaller one..but the 5ml worked fine. Today we may use the same if we don't meet Alessandra, she got us some small syringes from her work. 

This morning we had another ultrasound and more blood work. I was trying to pay attention to what they were saying...and I was trying to look at the ultrasound monitor. I can't really tell sizes on the monitor except it seemed my uterus looked bigger...I don't know why but it seemed to look bigger to me. I have no idea if it is suppose to be bigger or if it really even is! I am definitely no pro at reading the monitor! While I was listening to her say the ovary sizes I was noticing the left is bigger, or she said a bigger number, I think ha, maybe I only started paying attention when she went to the left side! Maybe my left one is doing better (pretty sure she said 7 and I don't know if that is the size of the ovary or how many follicles she was seeing but after that she was saying 12 and 14)...Anyway, I am very happy to be doing this in Italy! Not only are we able to seek treatment here but they seem awesome! And since I can't understand everything they are saying, I'm not asking a million questions, my mind is constantly running thinking about how everything is going and I am very calm! I go to my appointments, do the drill: bathroom to empty bladder, get ultrasound then blood work, wait 5 mins to make sure my arm stops bleeding then tell them I am ok and I leave! We wait for a phone call with the amount of meds we are suppose to take the next few days until our next ultrasound. I am beyond happy to be calm, I am just going with the flow of things, which I am loving because I know if I could understand everything they were saying I would be analyzing it and making myself worry! So this has been wonderful for me, I go to my appointment, take my meds and wait (surprisingly the waiting isn't bothering me) I am anxious to see how many follicles we get but since I don't really know any numbers from each ultrasound, or I'm not even sure what day we will go in for pick up, I am just going with the flow and praying for good results! I am not too anxious for the pick up or transfer either which surprises me! I was a little scared at first for those days, afraid it may hurt but I have this trick where if I don't think about things I don't worry about it so that is what I have been doing, putting it out of my mind and just going with the flow! This is usually hard for me to do but I have been doing it and lately when I think of pick up and transfer day I am excited, not scared or worried about pain! Mostly I am wondering what I will wear ha, yes what I will wear, they told me I need to bring a gown or pajamas and I haven't decided what that will be!  

I can't believe how calm I am!!!! Definitely feeling like prayers are helping me stay calm so if you are reading this...send up a prayer each day to keep this sense of calmness! And thank you! 

Today I also tried to pretend I was already on bed rest....it's hard! I was ok this morning because I was tired and the pups kept me company on the couch, we all took a nap! But when I woke up I was anxious to do something! It's probably from the coffee so I think I will have to cut coffee out (I only drink one cup a day) during the bed rest times (after pick up and transfer) and then maybe I will be ok with being lazy! Today I let Cliff take my car to work and I don't want to go anywhere but I decided I needed to give the shower a really good scrub down since I'm not suppose to be in too warm of water for long periods of times, that means no baths, and Cliff has decided since today marks the day he is suppose to start to prepare for pick up also he won't take any more baths either....both of us are only to take showers for the next few days (if you know us you know we both LOVE baths so this kind of stinks for us!) So I didn't want to drive the Jeep anywhere to get shower cleaner (mainly because I don't want to get out of the house), found an easy recipe online, mixed it up and sprayed the shower down! The homemade shower cleaner worked ok but not as well as I hoped...we use this really moisturizing shower geL and it builds up residue on the outside part of the shower floor where the shower curtain blocks the water from constantly hitting it to clean it and let it drain, so it cleaned the shower but I was hoping the residue would just melt away...didn't happen, I had to scrub a little. But I can't be doing anything like this when I am suppose to be on bed rest so lets again pray, pray that I can be calm and laziness can come over me while I need to be on bed rest!

Now we wait for the clinic to call with medicine amounts to take until Wednesday the 28th when we will have another ultrasound! 

I don't know what day pick up will be but I know we are getting close and I am getting excited! I think we are about half way there...so maybe only another week to wait before we know how many follicles we got! And then a few days wait to see how many we can implant!

I can't believe we are to this point! It seems like it took forever to get here! It has been a long road since we started this journey! Please pray for God to keep us calm and relaxed as we get farther into the treatment and really start the waiting game! ~ One day at a time!